Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
