so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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