Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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