Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your topless pictures make me question reality
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
