discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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