Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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