hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
