but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
