wake up i wanna do it froggy style
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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