bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
