this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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