found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
