their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
