Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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