I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
