Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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