I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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