This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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