I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
