We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
