I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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