last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
