I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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