I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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