I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
