hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
