ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
