so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
