You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
