I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
