nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
