i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
