her vagine was all disorganized.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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