I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
