It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
