Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
