Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
