we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
