will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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