If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We have so much sex to catch up on
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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