38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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