What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Enjoy the penises
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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