How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
