I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
