Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
