so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
