she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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