May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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