i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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