There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
