It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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