he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
